It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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