we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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