I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
