is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize