I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
