Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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