i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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