So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
