i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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