Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
