I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
