i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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