3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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