Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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