Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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