I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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