Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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