I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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