Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from England

Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

Fav 20 3882 1008
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

Fav 6 1333 3888
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

Fav 22 6054 2560
share tweet
(949): View more from California

Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.

Fav 15 2384 1628
share tweet
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(506): View more from New Brunswick

Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

Fav 3 2439 766
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

Fav 4 1834 799
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

Fav 6 1340 693
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.

Fav 5 613 1004
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(409): View more from Texas

I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.

Fav 0 747 389
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT