You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!