So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying