Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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