lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?