never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
