Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I will pee on everything he values.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
