Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
