Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You made out with two different species that night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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