the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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