The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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