I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
