Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
