I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
