I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize