She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
