There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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