Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So much rum. So many feels.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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