I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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