is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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