The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
