I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
