I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.