I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again