if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
