STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
