I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
wow bdsm is so cute
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize