Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
