i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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