I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
