I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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