No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
