The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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