Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
