I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
