guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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