sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
