I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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