wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize