There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...