I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine