These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
you never un-have a 4some
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
