She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just had sex on a roof
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
