The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
