Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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